Ruth Institute Blog

Marcia Segelstein – Guest Columnist -OneNewsNow

Listen up, parents. The goal of sex education is not to prevent unwanted pregnancies and diseases. The goal is to promote sexual freedom.

That may sound outrageous, but it’s the premise of Dr. Miriam Grossman’s new book, You’re Teaching My Child What?, and it’s backed up by plenty of cold, hard facts.  Here’s what she writes in the introduction: “From a review of many of today’s sex ed curricula and websites, it would appear that a ‘sexually healthy’ individual is one who has been ‘desensitized,’ who is without any sense of embarrassment or shame (what some might consider ‘modesty’), whose sexuality is always ‘positive’ and ‘open,’ who respects and accepts ‘diverse’ lifestyles, and who practices ‘safer sex’ with every ‘partner.’  This is not about health, folks.  This is about indoctrination.”
 
While modern sex educators are busy introducing “diverse” sexual lifestyles to their students, what they are not doing is looking out for their health.  Dr. Grossman asks the logical question:  “Why don’t sex educators emphasize that casual sex and multiple partners is a health hazard?”  Why don’t they make it clear that engaging in sexual behavior with someone means risking exposure to the bacteria, viruses, and full-blown sexually transmitted diseases of each and every one of his or her previous partners.
 
Condoms are like a magic wand in the world of sex education.  Students hear endlessly about practicing “safer sex” by using condoms.  But Grossman points out what many aren’t told: that most teenagers don’t use condoms correctly and, she writes, “Even with proper use, both pregnancy and infection can occur.”  So students are, in effect, encouraged to take a calculated risk, a risk with enormous ramifications.
 
In my last column, I wrote about SIECUS, the Sex Information and Education Council of the U.S., and the provider of sex ed curricula to schools from coast to coast.  Without any basis in scientific fact, sex ed materials produced by SIECUS promote the idea that it is “healthy” for kids to explore their sexuality.  “That,” writes Grossman, “was never true, and it’s surely not true now, with genital bacteria and viruses infecting another young person every 3.5 seconds.”  Sexually transmitted diseases are epidemic: one in four teenage girls has one.
 
And don’t expect school sex ed programs to back up parents when it comes to moral and religious teachings.  Grossman writes that many sex ed instructors encourage students “to question what they’ve been taught at home and at church,” and to develop their own views on the subject of sex.  It not only undermines parental authority, it has the potential to promote dangerous behavior in an age group already eager and willing to break rules.
 
Organizations such as SIECUS, Planned Parenthood, and Advocates for Youth provide information and links with sexual information specifically for teenagers.  Almost without exception, the links meant to help teens decide whether to have sex say it’s a question only they can answer.  If the decision involved which foods to eat, make no mistake that there would be no government-funded websites, or parent-tolerated websites, which recommended that teens decide for themselves whether to eat healthy or unhealthy foods.
 
SIECUS provides a link, under the heading “Adolescent Sexuality,” to a website run by Columbia University called Go Ask Alice!  Most parents would be appalled by the information the website provides, and the encouragement it gives students to explore their sexuality.  Each week, Go Ask Alice has a special theme.  The week I checked the website for this column, the theme was “Porn.”  When “asked” where to find erotic videos that appeal to women, “Alice” suggests names of directors, producers and actresses to look for, and goes on to say that the process of finding porn and erotica you like “can be enjoyable and can help you explore and understand your likes and dislikes.”  Nowhere does it say that viewing pornography can become addictive and detrimental to one’s future sexual health.  (Read Marcia Segelstein’s earlier column: “What parents need to know about porn and their kids“)
 
Perusing the Q&A section for teens on the Planned Parenthood website, I found this point of view posing as an answer:  “It’s perfectly normal for a girl to find other girls attractive or be turned on by them.”
 
In almost every other aspect of school life, children are encouraged to use self-discipline.  It’s expected of them in all kinds of areas, from academics to athletics.  But self-restraint isn’t a valued commodity in most sex ed curricula.  Nor are parents.
 
When it comes to their children’s health, parents are expected to be authority figures.  Most parents teach their children that smoking cigarettes, for instance, is unhealthy and tell them in no uncertain terms that they are not to do it.  If a health teacher at school taught children that wanting to smoke is normal, and that kids should explore their desire to do it, parents would probably storm the school.  But when it comes to sexual health, it’s quite the opposite.  Children are taught that their sexual urges are “natural.”  They’re taught that what’s important about exploring those desires is to be as safe as possible.  Parents’ views, based on religion, morality, or science, have no role.  Children aren’t advised to turn to their parents for advice.
 
That’s tragic, considering the fact that recent studies “overwhelmingly confirm that the impact of parents is profound,” writes Grossman.  One study found that teens who believe their mothers have liberal opinions about sexuality are more likely to have had sex, and to have more sexual partners.  “[S]tudies show that high parental expectations are associated with postponing sex.”
 
Dr. Grossman concludes her book by advising parents to check carefully ahead of time what their children will be taught in sex education class.  She urges parents to look at the curriculum for themselves, and find out what materials will be distributed, along with what websites will be recommended.  And she reminds parents that their opinions matter more to their children than they think.