Home > Happy Marriage, Marriage > Marriages in US lasting longer, but why?

Marriages in US lasting longer, but why?

June 14th, 2011

by Mariette Ulrich

This Washington Post piece was published last month, which, in cyber-terms now means it’s covered by the cobwebs of antiquity. But on the premise that history matters, perhaps we can still learn from this report. The Census Bureau did a report on the longevity of contemporary marriage and found some positive results: the number of longer-lasting marriages in the U.S. has risen.

Three in four couples who married after 1990 celebrated a 10-year anniversary, according to census statistics reported Wednesday. That was a rise of three percentage points compared with couples who married in the early 1980s, when the nation’s divorce rate was at its highest.

I suppose that makes my husband and me survivors, since we married in the mid-80s and will celebrate our 25th anniversary this autumn. But I know only too well how many of our friends and relatives made their way to the divorce court. So it’s heartening to see this report, even if I don’t always agree with some of their findings. For example:

“People seem to be finding a new marriage bargain that works for 21st-century couples,” said Andrew Cherlin, a Johns Hopkins University sociologist who studies families. “It’s based on pooling two incomes, replacing the old breadwinner-homemaker bargain that worked well in the ’50s.”

Sorry, but some of the happiest, longest lasting marriages I’ve seen (including mine) are still based on the breadwinner dad, home-maker mom paradigm. Except that in our case, and that of many couples I know, this lifestyle choice was a mutual decision, not the default mode—and certainly not a “bargain.” (Though you do have to be willing to shop for them when you raise a family on one income.)

I found this assertion a bit amusing:

Keep reading.

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  1. June 14th, 2011 at 14:03 | #1

    Congratulations on your anniversary!

    We are only at 20 years right now – we aren’t pooling two incomes either. I think that many “sociologists” would like to think about a new “bargain.” But that is what sociologists like to do.

    I agree with you that it does make it hard financially when raising kids (and we seem to have more than many with double incomes). But we are not in it for the money. :)

  2. T Raevsky
    June 14th, 2011 at 17:31 | #2

    We also have a single breadwinner by choice, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    The sad trend I’ve seen more and more is that people just don’t get married in the first place. Instead, they just live together. So, in my opinion, those who actually make the commitment are more willing to keep going, even when times get tough.

  3. June 15th, 2011 at 08:19 | #3

    We also have the single breadwinner by choice, and we will celebrate our 35th Aug 1st. We really have a problem with parents who farm their kids out to day care and sitters just so they can have a more lavish lifestyle.

  4. June 15th, 2011 at 10:19 | #4

    And congratulations, Dr. Morse, on your anniversary!

  5. June 15th, 2011 at 11:31 | #5

    Sorry, Betsy, I meant congratulations to YOU on your anniversary!

  6. Peterplumber
    June 16th, 2011 at 06:00 | #6

    I was searching for something on the internet a week or so ago and came across an article writtin in 1889. The topic of the article was the decline of morals and values in this country at that time. The jist of it was that women entering the workplace would be the demise of this country.

  7. Peterplumber
    June 16th, 2011 at 12:02 | #7

    I found that article again, in case anyone is interested. It was from Popular Science in Feb 1898 titled “The Primary Social Settlement” by Kate Kinglsey Ide
    Here is a link
    http://bit.ly/kkmlGC

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