Something that really broils me
Last night at a party a friend was telling me about a neighbor of hers: a 50-something year old man who never found the right woman, but always wanted children. So what did he do? He manufactured some, of course! He hired a surrogate to produce twin boys for him. This man works full-time, so his 80-something year old mother looks after the boys, who are now two.
Let’s think about that for a moment. An 80-year-old watching TWO-year-olds, boys no less. Riiiiiiiiiight, like that’s got to work well. I hope her walker can keep up with them and that her hip doesn’t go out, again.
This man had children made for his own entertainment when he gets home from work. Tell me this isn’t selfish? And what will he tell the children, who, by the way, have yet to speak a single word, when they ask where/who their mother is? (Funny, often a baby’s first word is “Momma.” No wonder these kids haven’t spoken; they don’t know what a Momma is.) Will he tell them, your mom is some woman I found on the internet. I needed a womb, and she needed the money? How romantic: you weren’t created out of love, you were a business transaction.
And what will these poor poor poor poor poor children do when grammie dies in a few years? I can’t imagine having to deal with that loss at such a young age. Their father is no spring chicken, either. “Sorry, boys, I can’t play ball with you. The ol’ arthritis is acting up again.”
To quote my sister, “Some people are just idiots.”
My friend is working hard to set this man up with a potential wife so these children can have a much-deserved and needed mother. I pray that she succeeds.
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BK, I’ m not so sure I hope she succeeds in finding a wife for this guy. If he were marriage material, he probably would have been able to find a wife on his own. What kind of deal is marrying a guy like this going to be for a woman? I don’t see a good outcome on the horizon.
[“Some people are just idiots.”]
They truly are. However since the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity what do you suggest?
@Jennifer Roback Morse
If he were marriage material, he probably would have been able to find a wife on his own. I’m not sure I agree with that–there could be some good reason why he hasn’t found a wife.
However, this completely selfish, irresponsible, and inconsiderate act (manufacturing children and treating them like house pets) definitely makes him not marriage material!
I don’t see how this is any more selfish than myriad straight couples who creates babies to drop off at day-care and pick up at the end of the day, until they’re old enough for the school system to babysit them. It’s generally a selfish act, bringing children into the world: you’re satisfying your need or want to be a parent, or to conform to social expectations and belong. I think it’s very strange to judge others and their circumstances for child-rearing.
There ought to be a law against manufacturing kids.
@Jennifer Roback Morse
Marriage can work miracles.
You have to believe!!
@ Ginny – On what are you basing your comment that this man treats his children like house pets???????
@Glenn E. Chatfield Yes, there ought to be a law against manufacturing kids. We should prohibit sperm and egg donation and IVF and many fertility drugs too, though we should still of course allow medicine to restore health and natural fertility.
It calls for a federal law, and international treaties, because as long as this is legal in California or the Ukraine then guys like this are just going to go there.
There will be lots of people who disagree with us on that, and joining a married couple’s own gametes might be ruled to be a right of marriage that would mean we have to leave IVF and fertility drugs legal, but we ought to be able to get the sperm and egg banks and surrogacy businesses prohibited with a law that prohibits intentional unmarried conception.
@Ken
I’m basing it on the line in the post that says “…for his own entertainment when he gets home from work”, and adding in the guess that they also serve as companionship. That is why many lonely people get a cat or dog–for entertainment, interaction, and companionship when they get home from work. I didn’t mean that he keeps his children on a leash, or feeds them dog food, or anything like that.