The End of Meaningless Sex
Donna Freitas’s new book on the hookup culture rightly encourages students to see its harms, but fails to give them moral reasons for opting out of it.
College life has long been seen as a kind of debauch: “To understand all is to forgive all,” an intoxicated Etonian tells Charles Ryder in Brideshead Revisited, and in Animal House John Belushi’s monosyllables echo agreement. Yet these days, something new is taking place. Scholars and journalists offer their takes on the hookup culture: the deflowering of American youth that takes place every weekend (and many weeknights) on university campuses.
With the exception of Hannah Rosin—whose The End of Men argued that hooking up empowers women—these writers largely agree that the hookup culture hurts those who participate in it. In 2008, Donna Freitas, then an assistant professor of religion at Boston University, published Sex & The Soul. She described how students at secular, Catholic, and evangelical universities understand their faith, their sexual mores, and the reconciliation (or lack thereof) between the two. The book was based on many interviews with students, as well as Freitas’s own time in the classroom, and offered concrete suggestions to parents, faculty, and clergy for helping students think about sex in a healthier and more meaningful—even spiritual—way.
Over the course of five years, Freitas—no longer a full-time professor—has lectured extensively and expanded her research. The result is . Aimed more at popular audiences, this book leaves aside the soul and focuses on the sex. Specifically, it examines the hookup culture at secular and Catholic universities, the roles that culture trains men and women to play, and how students can opt out of hooking up.
What exactly is “hooking up”? The students Freitas asked offer three criteria. First, “a hookup, as far as sexual intimacy goes . . . is broadly understood to include just about every type of activity imaginable.” From kissing and oral sex—which, in many quarters, is the new kissing—to going all the way, the term “hooking up” covers a multitude of things. This ambiguity helps students look more or less sexually involved in front of their peers, depending on the perception they need to create.
Second, a hookup is brief, lasting anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. It is one event during the course of an evening, not necessarily the main event.
Third and most important,… Keep reading.
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