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Marriage Through the Eyes of a Child

December 9th, 2013

By Roxane Salonen

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops seems to be taking to heart Jesus’ admonition that we must become like children if we’re to enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18).

The bishops recently published a pamphlet: “Life Matters: Explaining the Reality of Marriage to Family and Friends.”

The document states that marriage prepares a man and woman to receive a child into their “circle of irreplaceability.” This is true whether the child comes to the family from birth or adoption. “When considered through the eyes of the child, marriage is beautiful.”

But how often do we consider marriage through the eyes of children? While I can see how it happens that we consider our perspective as adults above all else, sometimes we’re called to look at life through the vantage point of another, for the common good of all.

This becomes a little easier when we take into account that we were once, and all are still at heart, children. Children tend to look at things in a way that breaks things down to the very basic. After the necessities, children want most to be loved, and they have a yearning also to know that love is rooted deeply down.

The brochure points out that our own experience informs us best and the truths are embedded from within. “We all have a desire to know, be connected with, and loved by our own mother and father regardless of our relationship with them.”

I have found this to be true in my own life, as well as in observing others’ experiences. As human beings, we feel strongly about being connected to our origins and those who participated in our beginnings.

Expounding on this idea, the document points out that God’s plan for creation has been stamped into our very nature. “Why do adopted people wonder about their biological origins, or children created from sperm donors search out the person who engendered them, as well as their half-siblings?”

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