Ruth Institute Blog

by Francis Phillips

This article was first published at CatholicHerald.co.uk on February 26, 2015.

“101 Tips for a Happier Marriage” by Jennifer Roback Morse and Betsy Kerekes contains some sage advice

In his homily for St Valentine’s Day Bishop Mark Davies of Shrewsbury spoke up in defence of marriage. Among other things he urged his listeners to “speak uninhibitedly of the good of marriage”, emphasising that “we need to rebuild a culture of the family founded on marriage…We need to take marriage seriously as a great social good, and recognise that children flourish best when they have the gift of a father and mother in their lives.” Read more…

by Betsy Kerekes

This article was first published at aleteia.org on February 15, 2015.

Anyone who tells you that kids won’t take a toll on romance in your marriage is a fool or someone desperate for grandkids. You do have to try harder to keep that courtship feeling alive when it seems that a needy little voice interrupts every kiss and cuddle.  So on this day after Valentine’s Day, I offer ten tips for a happier and more romantic marriage for all our current and future “married with children” readers. Read more…

by Betsy Kerekes, Ruth Institute editor, co-author with Dr. Morse of (Ave Maria Press 2013, Pauline Publications India 2014) and the blog Parentingisfunny.wordpress.com.

This article was first published at Mercatornet.com.

Marital satisfaction tends to take a dip once that first baby comes home from the hospital (or out of the bathtub, birthing center, etc.). This shouldn’t be surprising to anyone. Let’s face it, kids, particularly newborns, are difficult. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying, or a grandparent. But you can maintain a happy marriage despite the strains and difficulties on your new life as parents. Here are ten tips for a happier marriage—with children.

1. Remember that love is a decision, not a feeling.

It’s impossible to keep warm fuzzy feelings for your spouse constantly, especially when you have children taking up so much of your time and energy. Just remember that your relationship with your spouse comes first. Period. If you want the best for your children, and who doesn’t, the success of your marriage is paramount. A google search will render you a dozen different studies all saying the same things about the negative effects of a broken marriage on children. If you want your kids to be happy, keep your spouse happy. Be happy together.

2. Don’t let Robin rule the roost. Read more…

Your guide to a happier marriage.

Reviewed by Mary Ann Paulukonis

This review was originally posted at For Your Marriage here.

Where some books have a dedication, this book has a page with three centered lines.

“God is God.

You are not.

Your spouse is not.”

Those ten words sum up the philosophy of 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage. It is a slender, easy-to-read volume of 101 pages (plus an introduction and a few chapter heading pages), each with only two paragraphs: one spelling out the marriage tip and one saying a little more about it. How long could it take to read 202 paragraphs? But this book is not for speed-reading. Each tip needs to be thought about and practiced for at least a day, more likely for weeks and months. Therefore I would suggest reading no more than one page—two paragraphs—per day. Add another day, really just a few minutes, to read the Introduction. Read more…

Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, even in your mind. If you find yourself mentally rehearsing your grudges, change the subject. Harboring negative thoughts will make you sour.

Have you ever taken a picture of someone right as they sneezed? Those pictures never turn out well. And sometimes when we talk, we say something we didn’t actually mean; it didn’t come out right. Sometimes we’re just having an off day and speak or act more harshly than we normally would. If your spouse does something out of the ordinary, in a hurtful way, he or she may just be having an off day. Give him or her some space and time, and think of that incident as the moment when he or she sneezed as the picture snapped. Throw the photo, and the incident, out of your mind.

Remove your self-esteem from the argument. You have a choice about how to handle not getting what you want. If your self-esteem depends on always being right, your self-esteem will always be fragile.

Base your self-worth on the knowledge that you are beloved by God. Don’t let a momentary exchange define who you are and how much you like yourself.

Get a copy of 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage for yourself and those you love. Click here to have it personalized and autographed by both authors.

“At last! A good and reliable guide to what it takes to make a marriage work and make it last a lifetime. The authors show us that a successful marriage is more about being good than feeling good. Being a good spouse is about being a good person.

Virtue is the key to a happy marriage as it is the key to a happy life. If love is about laying down our life for our friends, marriage is about laying down our life for our best friend. This little gem of a book should be read by every married couple and by those planning to get married.”

~Joseph Pearce, author of The Quest for Shakespeare

Find 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage here. Get a personalized, autographed copy for yourself or a friend here.

Recognize that most people are thinking of themselves most of the time. Seeing this about your spouse will save you a lot of disappointment. Seeing this about yourself will help you realize what your spouse has to put up with.

How many times have you launched into the intricacies of the all-consuming project your working on, only to take a breath and have your spouse change the subject to whatever all-consuming task he or she is working on? Then when your spouse pauses, you go back to talking about your thing, slightly annoyed that he or she changed the subject. But no matter how important and interesting you think your project is, the world still doesn’t revolve around you. If anything, it revolves around the two of you as a pair. Access your inner child, go back to kindergarten, and learn how to share.

Find more marriage tips here.

Give the relationship time for reciprocity to develop. People are unable to give much for a variety of reasons. Sometimes one person is sick or preoccupied. These times pass.

All things, relationships included, ebb and flow with the tides. You can’t be perfect and fully on top of your game at all times, and neither can your spouse. Recognize that. Do what you can, and hope that your efforts will bear fruit.

Want more marriage tips? Click here for a standard copy, and here for a personalized, autographed copy by both authors.

“101 Tips for a Happier Marriage is full of practical, helpful ideas to keep a marriage alive and well. It should be handed out to every couple going through a pre-Cana program. If every couple followed its advice, there would be many more happy and successful marriages!” –Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur, Author of The Catholic Baby Name Book

“An eye-openingm energizing, attitude-adjusting, wake-up-call-of-a-book that every married couple should read and re-read. A power-packed energy drink of marital wisdom and truth.” –Tom Allen, Founding Editor of Catholic Exchange.

Have you gotten a copy yet for yourself and those you love? Click here for a standard copy, and here for a personalized, autographed copy by both authors.